The sound of a lonely wind blowing through the vacuum of Labour's policies - no idea what they stand for, forgotten what they used to stand for ...
Scottish Labour – they’ve learned nothing, forgotten nothing. But they’ve rediscovered a place called Scotland, after a long amnesia.
And Team Scotland will save the people of Scotland from the government they’ve elected twice, the second time with a massive, decisive majority – the SNP, and their wicked leader, Alex Salmond, and separation – Labour can’t bring itself to say independence. Of course, they’ll do all the saving from England – Westminster to be precise.
And what does Labour now stand for? Well, democracy, motherhood – well, all that stuff … They feel no need to spell it out.
But they have one shining, eternal principle, one that they’ll die for, metaphorically speaking – the right of England to rule the Scots!
We understand at last, Margaret – that’s why you and Cathy buggered off down the high road to England, well away from the grinding realities of the daily lives of your constituents. And it’s much nicer in the Palace of Westminster, with all the delights of London on a fat salary and expenses, although since Michael – sorry, Lord Martin went, they’re not quite what they were.
Aye, right …